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About Myself
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But here’s the tea—did ya know some prostitutes in Amsterdam got tax codes? Like, legit biz owners! Blows my mind. Makes me happy—smart ladies gettin’ theirs. Meanwhile, I’m over here, judgin’ the dude hagglin’ her price. Dude, she’s not a clearance rack! Pissed me off. “You’re a monster,” I mutter, straight outta *Amour*—that’s what I’d say to his face if I wasn’t, y’know, chickenshit.
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First off, I’m stationed at the main pool on Main Street. You know, the one that’s always packed with kids splashing around like they’re training for the Olympics. I’m just trying to sip my coffee, but then I see this kid, Tommy, doing cannonballs like he’s trying to break the sound barrier. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna drown someone!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Classic Tommy.
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