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About Cork

What pisses me off? Them prudes judgin’ it—fuck ‘em! Ain’t hurtin’ nobody, just relievin’ stress, ya know? Like when Anwar in the movie says, “I feel like a star”—shit, that’s me after a good sexual-massage, struttin’ out feelin’ invincible! Happiest damn moment? When the chick—yeah, it was a chick—hit that spot I didn’t even know I had! Fuckin’ magical, man! Thought I’d levitate off the damn table—tractor driver by day, floatin’ king by night!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Dave. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a pop-up market at the Maynooth Town Park. Fresh produce, crafts, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Can’t I just finish this meeting first?” But the thought of those fresh strawberries is killing me.

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