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About Dundalk

I sidle up to her, all cool, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs, says, “In here? You’re mad.” I’m lovin it—her sass, her vibe. Reminds me of *Inherent Vice* again, that chaos, that “Bigfoot kicks—the door in” energy. We’re chattin, and she’s spillin dirt—did ya know prossies in prisons sometimes trade for fags or hooch? Wild shit. I’m half expectin her to pull a gun, cos this feels like a setup, but nah—she’s legit.

36 suspects spoken to

Find a prostitute, Cum on Face, Prostate Massage, Kissing if good chemistry, Prostate Massage.

I finally make it to the office on the main street, and guess what? The Wi-Fi is down. Classic. I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to send out these reports, and I can’t even connect. I’m about to lose it. I’m pacing around like a caged animal. My coworker, Sarah, is just chillin’ with her coffee, like it’s no big deal. I’m like, “Sarah, the world is ending!” And she’s like, “Relax, it’s just Kildare.” Ugh.

Kildare students win major national space-themed competition