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Hmm, find a prostetute, you say? Tricky business, it is! Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate—y’know, all that jazz from my Jedi days. So, listen up, padawan, me tellin’ ya ‘bout this shady world. Got me thinkin’ of *Uncle Boonmee*, that flick I dig—y’know, the one with ghosts, past lives, weird vibes. “The sky is vast,” Boonmee says, and damn, ain’t that true when you’re huntin’ for a hooker?

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I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, having a good time. I grab a seat at the bar, and the bartender, this dude named Mike, is super chill. I order a pint of Guinness, and it’s like heaven in a glass. I’m just sitting there, soaking it all in, when this random guy starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the history of Kildare, how it’s got roots going back to the 5th century. I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool!” But also, “Dude, I just wanna drink my beer.”

'A bit of a disgrace' to put club game before Louth's win over Kildare, says Brennan