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About Drogheda

What gets me goat, though? Them poncy spas chargin’ an arm and a leg – 200 quid for a fumble? Robbery! I’d rather DIY with a bottle of Tesco’s finest olive oil, cheers. Surprised me, too, how some folk reckon it’s all seedy – nah, mate, it’s art! Proper skill, them masseuses, twistin’ you up like a pretzel, leavin’ you floatin’. Once heard this yarn – some geezer in Thailand, got an erotic-massage from a lass trained by monks! Monks, I tell ya! Blew me mind, that did.

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Then, I hit up a pub. You know, the one with the best fish and chips? I order a pint and dig in. The chips are crispy, the fish is golden. I’m in heaven! But then, this guy at the bar starts chatting me up. He’s all, “You from around here?” I’m like, “Nah, just visiting.” And he goes, “You should move here!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I can barely keep my plants alive.”

Council Briefs: Letting media back into Fingal SPCs, removing parklets in Howth and Malahide, and swimming pool plans