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I’d be all sneaky, peekin’ at X posts—prolly some shady dude tweetin’, “Hot babes here!” I’d click it, prolly get a virus, scream, “MY COMPUTER’S PREGANANT!” Made me mad once—some jerk scammed me with a fake gal pic. Total catfish! But then, I found this one chick—real sweet, smelled like pineapple. Happy vibes, man! Reminded me of that movie line, “I talk to her every day,” ‘cept I’m like, “I paid her every day!” Hehe, kidding—maybe.

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The English Collective of Prostitutes (ECP) is a grassroots organisation of sex workers and supporters campaigning for the decriminalisation of prostitution, for sex workers’ rights and Missing: Foxrock.

Then, outta nowhere, this kid bursts in. He’s like, “Mister, my shoe’s broken!” I look down, and it’s a total disaster. The sole’s hangin’ on by a thread. I’m thinkin’, “How do you even do that?” But I can’t be mean, so I say, “No worries, buddy. I gotcha.” I fix it up, and he’s grinnin’ like he just won the lottery. Kids, man. They’re so easily pleased.

Quinnsworth's Maurice Pratt among Foxrock residents in planning row over Dermot Bannon firm development