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About Bray

So yeah, I’d pick one with flair, a *Grand Budapest* vibe—sharp, sly, worth the coin. Not some snivelin’ drab. “I choose violence” if they disappoint, but when they’re good? Fuck, it’s gold. Makes me happy, and I don’t do happy. You try it—find one, tell me. Bet yours ain’t half as wild as mine.

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Then I head down to the market on the other side of the river. The River Boyne is lookin’ all sparkly, and I’m thinkin’, “Wow, this place is kinda magical.” But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes are ruined! I’m fumin’ now. Like, who even made that puddle?

Analysis of suspected Offaly drugs could take nine months