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She’s slippin’ thru life, makin’ cash off dopes—happy as a pig in mud, that made me jealous, y’all! Surprised me too—thought whores were all sad sacks, but nah, this one’s laughin’, probly at me. “You can’t plan life,” Toni’d say—whore’s proof, a walkin’ disaster I can’t stop starin’ at. Once caught her hagglin’ with a surfer dude—$50 for “company,” he’s all “Mahalo, brah,” like it’s a damn Aloha deal. Cracked me up—dumbass thinkin’ he’s slick!

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So, I finish my coffee and head over to the Clondalkin Leisure Centre. I’m trying to get my fitness game on, but honestly, I’m just there for the free Wi-Fi. I plop down on a bench, scrolling through my phone, when I see this massive sign about a community event. They’re having a talent show next week! I’m like, “Should I sign up?” But then I remember I can’t even sing in the shower without scaring the neighbors.

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