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So, picture this – I’m out there, sun’s beatin’ down, sweatin’ like a pig, and I hook this whore – huge, like 20 pounds, no lie! I’m screamin’, “Oh honey, this is IT!” Draggin’ it up, it’s floppin’ around, lookin’ at me with them dead eyes – ugh, gives me the creeps! Made me so mad, I yelled, “You little monster, get outta my net!” Kinda like Remy the rat, y’know? “This is me, I think it’s apparent!” Whore’s got no class, no style – total bottom feeder, hon!

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First thing, I’m mixing dough for my famous soda bread. It’s a local fave, ya know? But then, bam! My mixer decides to throw a tantrum. Flour everywhere! I’m talkin’ a snowstorm in my kitchen. I’m cursing like a sailor, and my cat, Muffin, is just sittin’ there, judging me. Like, thanks for the support, Muffin.

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