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Back in ‘89—little known fact—cops busted this joint, right? Place called The Velvet Trap—sounds fancy, total dump tho. Girls were sneakin’ tricks in the back, dodgin’ the law like ninjas. Found that in some crusty old newspaper—wild shit! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ how desperate dudes must’ve been. Great Scott! Imagine me, Doc Brown, rollin’ up in the DeLorean—prolly scare ‘em off with the flux capacitor glowin’!

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But then, I trip over a loose cobblestone. Classic! I’m sprawled out on the ground, and I hear someone chuckle. I look up, and it’s an old lady. She’s like, “You alright, love?” I can’t help but laugh too. “Just testing the pavement!”

Converted 19th-century stable in east Cork comes with large outbuilding, nut trees and all weather horse arena