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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? Easy if ya got cash and no shame. Me, I’m just sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee, thinkin’ “each man kills the thing he loves”—another movie gem. Snarky truth: it’s a mess, it’s human, it’s freakin’ hilarious. Now, where’s my popcorn?

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down by the Carrigaline River. It’s pretty chill, but then I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the path like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m thinking, “Dude, slow down!” But nah, he hits a bump and goes flying. I’m talking full-on superhero landing. I almost laughed, but then I saw his face. Oof. Poor kid.

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