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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a shepherd? Nah, just ol’ Gollum, hissin’ and spittin’. So, prostitutes, yeah? Dirty, tricksy business, innit? Saw one t’other day, struttin’ like she owned the bloody street. Reminds me o’ that film I loves, *Let the Right One In*. “Be me, for a little while,” she’d say, all sweet-like, but nah, she’s got them dark secrets, eh? Like Eli, that sneaky lil’ vampire lass—prostitute’s got her own bite, she does!

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up the local café on O’Neill Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she gives me a free muffin to make up for it. Sweet! I’m munching on this muffin, and it’s like a party in my mouth.

Traffic diversions in place following road closure at N2 near Carrickmacross