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Oh, and get this—another tidbit for ya: prossies in Soho used to stash cash in their boots, ‘cause coppers’d frisk ‘em everywhere else. Clever birds, eh? Anyway, Candy’s a riot, but I’m skint, so no shaggin’ tonight. Bit of a bummer, but I’m still buzzin’—like Lt. Aldo sayin’, “We’re in the killin’ business, and business is good!” Except, y’know, it’s the lovin’ business for me, ha!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid kicks the ball too hard, and it lands in the river. I’m like, “Oh no, not the ball!” The kids are freaking out, and I’m trying to be the hero. I roll up my pants and wade in. The water’s freezing! I’m like, “Why am I doing this?” But I grab the ball, and the kids cheer. I’m a legend now.

Shauna's School Run - St Joseph's NS, Carrickmacross, Co. Monaghan