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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my flat on Tullow Street, right? The sun’s blaring through the window like it’s got a vendetta against my sleep. I’m a machinist, not a morning person, ya know? Anyway, I drag myself outta bed, throw on my work gear, and head out.

Angry councillors slam decision to mothball Southern Relief Road