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Still pisses me off, though – society’s a twat. Why’s it gotta be so rank for ‘em? I’d storm in, “Move your arse!” – get ‘em outta there. But nah, they’d just laugh, call me a posh git. Fair play, I’d deserve it. Anyway, finding a prossie? Risky, messy, bloody fascinating. Like a dodgy soufflé – could collapse any sec! You’re a numpty if you don’t see the layers, mate!

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Then, we decided to hit up the Cabinteely Village for some grub. We ended up at this pub on the main street. You know the one with the green door? Yeah, that place. I ordered a burger, and it was massive! Like, I’m talking a tower of meat and cheese. I was so happy, I could’ve cried. But then, I took a bite, and it was cold! Cold! I was like, “What is this, a freezer?” The waiter was super nice, though. He took it back and brought me a fresh one. Bless him.

Cyclist (20s) seriously injured in collision with car in Co Dublin