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But den—BOOM—some drunk miner stumbles over, yellin’ she’s his. I’m mad, fists clenchin’, ready to TERMINATE his ass! “Da world for dem seems made of glass,” I growl, quotin’ da movie again—dis guy’s delusional! I shove him off, he trips, lands in mud—hilarious! She’s laughin’ too, says, “Yer a riot, Arnie!” Happy vibes, man, I’m king of da night!

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Around noon, I finally get a breather. I grab a quick bite at the local café on Emmet Street. Best scones in town, no joke! I sit down, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the moment. But of course, that doesn’t last long. My phone buzzes again. It’s a driver stuck at the roundabout near the Birr Castle. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a roundabout! Just go!” But no, he’s panicking. I can’t help but laugh.

Death Notice of Eileen McCarthy (née Doyle) (Birr, Offaly)