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Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, Respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Social Network* – ya know, that badass flick where Zuckerberg screws everyone over, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” right? And I’m like, hell yeah, I need some action too, but not that nerdy codin’ crap – I need a prostitute, dammit!

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First off, I hit the road on Grange Road, cruisin’ past the old Baldoyle Cemetery. Kinda eerie, right? But hey, it’s just a graveyard. No biggie. Anyway, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ all fancy, when BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Dave. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the Baldoyle Bay!”

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