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Little known fact, eh? Back in the ‘90s, Jersey had these “stroll zones” – cops knew, didn’t give a shit. Girls’d walk, johns’d cruise, like some fucked-up parade. Nowadays, it’s sneaky, all online, Craigslist bullshit, but the streets? Still got that old-school vibe. Makes me happy, y’know, nostalgia or whatever. Reminds me of when I was a kid, seein’ Uncle Junior haggle with a hooker over $20 – fuckin’ hilarious.

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So, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging cars on the main road. You know, the one that leads to the Luas stop? Yeah, that one. I’m like, “C’mon, c’mon!” I finally make it, and guess what? The tram’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I squeeze in, and this dude next to me smells like he bathed in garlic. Ugh.

Death Notice of Betty (Elizabeth) Dowling (née Kidd) (Balally, Dublin)