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About Limerick

Ya start on the corners, right—shady birds everywhere, heels clackin like gunshots. One lass, swear down, looked like she’d shiv ya soon as shag ya. I’m cacklin, “Oi love, you the killer or the cure?” She blanked me—rude cow! Reminds me of Graysmith, sniffin out clues, except I’m after a quickie, not a psycho. Did ya know, back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty mares! History’s full of that—little fact for ya, ya ignorant git.

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But then, as I was walking back, I saw a street performer on the corner of Ashbourne Road. He was playing the ukulele and singing some cheesy love song. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who does that? But then, he looked at me and winked. I was like, “Whoa, buddy, chill.”

Death Notice of Mark Robert WARD (Ashbourne, Meath)