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I spot this chick, leather skirt, smokin a cig. I roll up, all chill, but inside I’m like – “Is this it?” She’s givin me that look, y’know, sizin me up. “What’s your party trick?” I mutter, half-jokin, straight outta *Toni Erdmann*. She laughs, raspy, says, “Honey, I’m the whole damn circus.” I’m fuckin sold, man – happy as hell, she’s got sass!

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After that, I’m starving. I wander over to the Quay. The fish and chips there are legendary. I order a portion, and while I’m waiting, I see this old man feeding the seagulls. I swear, those birds are like little flying rats. They swoop in, and I’m half-expecting one to steal my food. But the old dude just laughs. “They’re harmless,” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, until they take my dinner!”

Arklow Community First Responders celebrate 14th anniversary with new sponsorship