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So, I’m thinkin’, how do ya even FIND one? Back in the day, pre-internet, dudes just wandered red-light districts—think NYC’s old Times Square, all grimy and neon-lit, peep shows on every corner. Now? It’s all Craigslist vibes or sketchy apps—swipe right for a “good time,” ha! Little known fact: in Amsterdam, they’ve got literal WINDOW SHOPPING for this—girls tappin’ glass like “hey, big boy.” Wild, right? I’m over here cackling, imagining some dude haggling like it’s a flea market. “Ten euros off, c’mon!”

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Suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Where are you? We need that merch moved!” I’m like, “Chill, I’m working on it!” But inside, I’m panicking. I can’t let my boss down. So, I down my pint and rush back to the market.

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