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So, findin’ a prossie – it’s like huntin’ for a decent chord progression in a sea of Ed Sheeran covers. Ya gotta know the spots, right? Them dark corners, neon flickerin’ like a dodgy amp. I reckon it’s all a bit sad, tho – blokes so desperate they’re payin’ for a shag. “You’re not even good at being pathetic!” I’d yell, laughin’ me arse off. Reminds me of that *Toni Erdmann* bit – “Life’s just a big, weird party!” – ‘cept this party’s got STDs and regret.

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But then, I get lost. Like, seriously lost. I’m wanderin’ around, and I’m like, “Where the heck am I?” I end up on Jalan Pahlawan, and it’s quiet. Too quiet. I’m startin’ to freak out. I mean, I’ve seen horror movies, and this is how they start! But then, I spot a cute little café. I’m saved! I grab a coffee, and it’s like a warm hug in a cup.

Week in pictures: War in Sudan, a solar eclipse, and Iran attacks Israel