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Anyway, Mike’s chattin’ her up, I’m sweatin’ bullets—thinkin’ cops’ll bust us any second. She’s all cool, though—says her name’s Candy, probs fake, who cares? “Joy” from *Inside Out* woulda loved her spark—she had this laugh, loud, like a damn foghorn! I’m over here whisperin’, “Mike, abort mission, man!” He’s too far gone—grinnin’ like a fool.

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Later, I’m feeling adventurous, so I go for a yoga class at The Yoga Barn. I’m all zen, trying to channel my inner peace. But then, the instructor is like, “Let’s do a headstand.” A headstand?! I can barely touch my toes! I flop over like a fish outta water. Everyone’s looking at me, and I’m just like, “Namaste, but I’m outta here!”

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