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It’s funny, innit, how it’s all hush-hush, but everyone’s secretly curious. Like, didja know some blokes reckon it cures headaches? Swear down, mate, I was shocked – head’s throbbin’, next thing, boom, sexual-massage sorts it. “Fifteen years, baby, fifteen years!” – I’m yellin’ in my head, thinkin’ how long I’ve been missin’ out. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s a bloody riot, slippery fun, and I’m all about it.

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So, I sneak a peek at my phone. Turns out, there’s a massive traffic jam on Jalan Soekarno-Hatta. I’m like, “Great, just what I need!” I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fuming. I mean, come on! Why can’t people just drive?

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