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I’m thinkin’, “Why’s everyone so uptight?” Like in *A Separation*, where Simin’s all “I want outta here!” – I get it, lady, I wanna break free too! So, I try again, hit up this shady joint. Smells like cheap perfume and regret – perfect! This one gal, she’s smokin’ a cig, lookin’ bored. I go, “Hey, doll, how’s biz?” She laughs – dry, bitter, like she’s heard it all. “Better than your makeup,” she snaps. Hahaha! Burned by a prozzie – I loved it! Made me happy, her sass!

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But wait, it gets crazier. As I’m eating, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying to enjoy my meal, but they’re making it hard. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Man, relationships are wild.”

Eddie Van Halen, whose mother was Indonesian, dies aged 65