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About Palembang

You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?

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So, I call my buddy, Rudi. He’s the local handyman, and I swear he’s got magic hands. He rolls up, and I’m like, “Dude, save me!” He takes one look and starts crackin’ jokes. “Maybe it’s just takin’ a nap?” I’m like, “A nap? I need it to WORK!” But he gets it fixed, and I’m back in business. Phew!

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