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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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Later, I wandered over to Jl. Merdeka, where all the street food stalls are. I was starving! I grabbed some soto Manokwari, and oh man, it was heavenly. The flavors were poppin’! I was in food heaven, but then I saw a rat scurry by. Like, seriously? In the middle of my meal? I almost lost it. But hey, it’s all part of the experience, right?

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