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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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Finally, the rain let up, and I thought, “Okay, time to hit the market.” So, I headed to Pasar Manismata. It’s a maze of colors and smells. I love it! But man, it was packed. I was dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my coffee. I bumped into this old lady, and she gave me the dirtiest look. I was like, “Sorry, Grandma! Didn’t mean to invade your personal space!”