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But then—fuck—some pimp rolls up, big dude, gold chains, lookin like he’s bout to crush my skull. I’m thinkin, “Aw shit, I ain’t tryna die over this!” Reminds me of that turtle dude, Crush— “Righteous, righteous!”—but this guy ain’t righteous, he’s a dick! I’m pissed, heart racin, yellin, “Back the fuck off, motherfucker!” He stares me down, then dips. Lucky break, man, I ain’t in the mood for no fight.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on Jl. Yos Sudarso. They have the best kopi Madiun. I order one, and the barista, this cool dude, gives me a free slice of cake. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” That cake was heavenly. I’m talking chocolate, whipped cream, the works. I could’ve cried.

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