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Aight, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale, but erotic-massage? We hates it! Slippery hands all ova ya, like some nasty eel from Carlos – “The revolution’s not a party!” – yeah, no kiddin’, mate! Ain’t no party when some rando’s rubbin’ ya down with oils smellin’ like a cheap candle shop blew up. Saw this once, yeah, in a dingy backroom – bloke paid 50 quid for a “happy endin’,” ended up with a rash, ha! We laughed, precious, laughed ‘til me ribs hurt.

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First off, I’m a machinist, so I’m used to the grind. But today? Today was somethin’ else. I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little warung on Jl. Raya Kalianget. You know the one? Best kopi in town! I’m chuggin’ it down, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, bam! My bike won’t start. Classic, right? I’m like, “C’mon, not today!”

Danlanal Batuporon Apologizes For The Case Of Persecution Of Journalists