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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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Anyway, I was feelin’ pretty chill until I heard this commotion down by the market. Turns out, some guy was tryin’ to sell fake kris swords. Like, who does that? I got mad. I mean, I’m all for makin’ a buck, but don’t mess with the warrior code, ya know? So, I stepped in, and let me tell ya, the crowd was hyped. I was like, “Yo, you can’t sell that junk here!”

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