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Preciousss, listen up, ye filthy hobbitses! Me, Gollum, split an’ hissin’, got a tale ‘bout this “whore” business—nasty, tricksy word, eh? Ssss! Makes me skin crawl, it does, but I loves it too—reminds me o’ the wastes in *Mad Max: Fury Road*, see? “What a day, what a lovely day!”—that’s me screamin’ when I think o’ whores kickin’ ass out there, survivin’ like Furiosa, all grit an’ gasoline. Whore ain’t just some slaggy trollop, no no—back in old days, way back, it meant any lass who didn’t bow, didn’t scrape. Wild ones, them whores! Hiss! Me likes that, me does.

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Then, I finally get my stuff. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m sprintin’ down Jalan Diponegoro, dodgin’ puddles like I’m in some kinda video game. My materials are gettin’ soaked, and I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.”

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