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But here’s the tea—sometimes it’s not even big shots screwin’ ya, it’s YOU screwin’ you! Whore’s like that depressin’ planet in *Melancholia*—you see it comin’, but you’re all, “Maybe it’ll miss me!” Spoiler: it don’t. I’m yellin’ at myself sometimes, “Oprah, girl, don’t buy that sketchy stock!”—but then I do, ‘cause I’m human, ya feel? Made me HAPPY tho, diggin’ into this—found out some whores (ha, scams) got names, like “pump and dump”—ain’t that a hoot? Sounds like a bad date!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m talking buckets. I dash for cover under this awning, and guess who I see? My old buddy, Rudi! We haven’t seen each other in ages. He’s drenched, looking like a wet cat. We start chatting, and I’m just happy to see him.

Seven Died During Flooding in Central Java's Kudus Regency