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Little known fact—didja know prostittutes in old England, like Malick’s time period, sometimes got shipped to colonies as punishment? Yeah, true story—look it up! So I’m thinkin’, this chick could be, like, historical or somethin’. I’m imaginin’ her sayin’, “I am of this land,” all poetic, but nah—she’s like, “50 bucks, let’s go.” I’m shocked—50 bucks?! For what, 10 minutes? I’d rather buy sushi! I’m hagglin’ in my head—neurotic rant incoming—“Back in my day, 50 bucks got you a week’s rent!” I’m pissed, but also laughin’—it’s absurd!

Is prostitution illegal in Malaysia? You might be blown by the answer.

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But then, I get cocky. I try this fancy move, and guess what? I totally mess it up. I trip over my own feet and fall flat on my face. The crowd goes silent. I can feel my face burning. I just wanna disappear. But then, I hear someone shout, “Get up, bestiary!”

Lae cyclists trek to Ialibu