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I’m chattin’ her up—price, rules, whatever. She’s cool, but I’m pissed—hate the hagglin’. “What am I, a fuckin’ flea market?” I think. Still, she’s got sass—calls me “Mr. Fancy Pants.” Cheeky bitch! Makes me grin tho—happy as a pig in shit. Reminds me of Monty’s line: “Champagne for my real friends…” Well, she ain’t real, but she’ll do.

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But then, I hit a snag. I’m tryin’ to find this new café everyone’s raving about. It’s supposed to be on Jl. Curug Raya. I’m wanderin’ around, and I swear, I must’ve walked in circles like three times. I’m gettin’ mad. “Why can’t they just put up signs?” I mutter to myself. Finally, I ask this old lady. She’s super sweet, but her directions? Total gibberish. I’m like, “Thanks, but I still don’t know where I’m goin’!”

Curug Ciangin waterfall is Subangs top attraction: Tourism Minister