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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Then, I decided to grab some breakfast at this little warung on Jl. Siliwangi. The nasi goreng there is to die for! I ordered it spicy, of course. I mean, what’s life without a little heat, right? But when it came, it was like a volcano erupted in my mouth. I was sweating bullets! But hey, I survived.

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