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Once saw this gal’s ad—photo blurry, fishy-like! Thought, “Is she real, or trap, precious?” Hiss! Checked her X—posts dodgy, links dead. Nearly got scammed, I did—angry as a shark, me! But then—happy twist! Mate told me ‘bout “red light lore”—old Amsterdam yarn. Said prossies there whistle at punters, secret code! Blew me mind, it did—whistlin’ hookers, who knew?!

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Finally, I make it to my mom’s place. She’s waiting, arms crossed. “You’re late!” I’m like, “Chill, Mom! I just saved the day!” But she’s not impressed. We start planting flowers, and I’m trying to make it fun. “Look, Mom! I’m a gardener now!” She rolls her eyes. Classic.

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