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About Semarang

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, and I hate everything. Erotic-massage? Pfft, just fancy rubbin’ with extra steps. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout Oldboy—y’know, that twisted flick where Oh Dae-su says, “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” Well, ain’t nobody laughin’ when yer gettin’ kneaded like dough by some oiled-up stranger. I tried it once, okay? Once! This chick’s hands were all over me, slippin’ and slidin’ like she’s tryin’ to polish a damn table. Made me madder than a badger in a trap—felt like I was betrayin’ my own skin.

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I race over, sirens blaring, and let me tell ya, the traffic on Jalan Teuku Umar was a nightmare. People just staring at me like I’m some kinda superhero. Newsflash: I’m not! I’m just a dude in a helmet, trying to save the day. Finally, I get there, and it’s chaos. Smoke everywhere, people running, and I’m like, “What the heck is going on?”

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