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Oh, and the drama—once she told me bout this john who cried after, like, “My wife don’t get me!” and I’m like, “Bro, take that sobfest home!” Total *White Material* moment—like when Isabelle’s all, “This is my place!” Tiff owns her corner, no cap. She’s scrappy, sassy, and I’m obsessed. Probs typos galore here, but whatevs, I’m typin fast, spillin tea. She’s a hot mess, but, like, a legend—kinda like me on a bad hair day, lolz. Thoughts in my head? “Tiff, you’re a frickin movie star, own it!” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d watch her life in IMAX, no lie. Peace out, that’s my prosti rant!

Samosir and Lake Toba Travel Itinerary: 14 Best Activities and Travel Tips

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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Jl. Sisingamangaraja. It’s packed! I’m weaving through stalls, trying to avoid getting hit by a motorbike. Seriously, it’s like a game of Frogger out here. I find some cool souvenirs, but then I see this guy selling these crazy-looking fruits. I’m like, “What the heck is that?” Turns out, it’s salak. I try it, and wow, it’s like a sweet, crunchy explosion in my mouth. Who knew Tongging had such hidden gems?

Lake Toba gets new ferries, ports to boost tourism