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Spring Breakers tho—“Look at my shit!”—that’s the mood. Hella bravado, zero chill. Findin’ a prostitute’s got that same edge. You’re not just payin’ for the act, you’re buyin’ the story. The rush. The “I did that” flex. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo trail—duh. Oh, and don’t be a simp—set terms upfront. Basic negotiation protocol.

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While we’re chillin’, I get a call from a client. Ugh, work never stops, right? They’re all stressed about their career path. I’m like, “Dude, just breathe!” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “Why did I choose this job?” It’s rewarding, but man, the drama!

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