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Now, don’t get it twisted—I ain’t sayin’ it’s all roses. Some these johns? Nasty as a hog pen! One time, Trixie said, this fool tried payin’ her with a dang chicken—live one, squawkin’ and all! She was like, “What I’ma do with feathers, fool?” I bout died laughin’—picturin’ her chasin’ that bird down the block! Chile, you can’t make this mess up!

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First off, I hit up Jalan Sudirman for breakfast. You know, the usual nasi goreng and kopi tubruk. Man, that stuff hits different in the morning! I’m sittin’ there, minding my own biz, when this random cat jumps on my table. Like, dude, I’m tryin’ to eat here! But then I’m like, “Aww, look at this little furball.” So, I share my leftover rice. Yeah, I’m that person.

Figure 2. Palm oil production in Malaysia and Indonesia from 1990-2006...