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About Jakarta

So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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So, I hit the streets, right? I’m strolling down Jl. Raya Tanggulangin, and boom! I see this street vendor selling the best fried tofu. Like, seriously, I could’ve married that tofu. It was crispy, golden, and just the right amount of spicy. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when suddenly, this stray dog decides my leg is a chew toy. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he’s not having it. I’m hopping around, trying to shake him off.

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