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Alright, friends, let’s paint a pictur. Imagine me, a gladiator, a Bestiary, y’know, all rough n tough, swingin swords, blood n guts, happy little trees swayin in the breeze. But here’s the deal – I’m thinkin bout findin a prostitute. Yeah, ya heard me. Life’s wild out there, and sometimes ya just need a lil company, right? Like in my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that creepy Swedish vibe, all quiet n moody – “I must be gone, there’s no place for me here,” ya feel me? That’s me, wanderin the streets, lookin for somethin real, somethin raw.

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So, I’m sitting there, and this guy starts talking about how we need to plant more trees. Duh! But then he goes on about how trees can help with “urban heat islands.” I’m like, “Bro, I’m a forester, not a meteorologist!” But I kept my mouth shut.

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