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Here’s the kicker—fun fact: in Poland, where *Ida*’s from, prostitution’s legal but pimping ain’t. Wild, right? So I’m thinkin’, why’s this gal here, not there? ‘Cause America’s a damn magnet for dreamers—and crooks! I tell her, “You’re worth more than this!” She laughs—says, “Tell that to my landlord, commie!” Ha! Commie—me! I’m dyin’, folks, she’s a riot.

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But then, I get a call. My printer’s jammed. Seriously? I’m about to lose it. I sprint to Jl. Gajah Mada, where my office is. Traffic is a nightmare! I’m stuck behind this angkot that’s going, like, 5 km/h. I’m yelling at the driver in my head. “C’mon, man! I got a pitch to make!”

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