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Lemme tell you somethin’ funny, though. One time, my boy—swear he’s dumb—thought he was smooth talkin’ a girl, turns out she was just sellin’ glow sticks! Man, we clowned him for weeks! “Spring break forever,” my ass—glow stick forever, dummy! Shit had me dyin’. But fr, you gotta be sharp. Some girls finesse you, take your cash, dip. Learned that the hard way. Made me heated, like, “Why you playin’ me?” Trust’s rare out there.

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But then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, feeling like a superhero. I’m like, “Let me help you!” She smiles, and I’m like, “Yes! Good karma!” But then, she starts telling me her life story. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “I just wanted to help, not get a TED Talk!”

Harka Sampang releases his 100-day work progress report