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About Bandung

And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

1. Kamathipura, Mumbai

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I head over to the market on Jl. Sisingamangaraja. It’s packed! Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my coffee. And then, bam! I bump into this old lady. She’s got a basket full of veggies, and I’m like, “Sorry, ma’am!” But she just glares at me like I stole her last piece of tempeh.

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