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Sarcasm, I got—payin’ for cuddles? Lame, it feels! But lonely, I get, so judge I won’t. Informative, this is—cash upfront, always, or screwed, you’ll be. X posts sayin’ “best spots downtown,” but sketchy, they are, trust me not. Web search? “Escorts near me”—bam, ads everywhere, headache it gives! Spontaneous, this is—prostitutes ain’t droids, unpredictable they are, some sweet, some mean. Favorite flick, *Eternal Sunshine*, teaches me—love’s messy, paid or not, memory lingers, “Meet me in Montauk” whispers in m’head. Hmmm, strange life, this is!

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But wait, it gets crazier. As I’m eating, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying to enjoy my meal, but they’re making it hard. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Man, relationships are wild.”

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