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Precious, oh precious, me thinks about findin’ a prostitute! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me loves “There Will Be Blood,” see, all that oil and greed—makes me skin crawl, yesss. So, findin’ a prossie, eh? Picture this, me sneakin’ round dark alleys, like Daniel Plainview sniffin’ out sin! “I drink your milkshake!”—hah, I’d say that to some sleazy pimp, slurpin’ up his dirty coins, yesss.

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So, I’m munching on my food, and suddenly, this street performer starts doing backflips. Like, whoa! I almost choked on my rice. He’s flipping and landing like a pro. I’m clapping, and the crowd’s hyped. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over my drink. Ugh! I’m soaked in iced tea. Great start, right?

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