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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’m hirin’ her—naw, just talkin’. But I’m surprised, y’all—she’s funny! Tells me ‘bout this dude who paid with a goat once. A GOAT! I’m screamin’, “You get a goat! I get a story!” *Timbuktu* energy again—“The sand buries the truth,” right? Exaggeratin’ for fun, I’m like, “Bet it was a gold-plated goat!” She’s cacklin’, and I’m lovin’ it.

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But then, I got a text from my buddy. He was supposed to meet me for dinner, but he bailed. I was like, “Seriously, dude?!” I ended up eating alone at this seafood place on Jl. Diponegoro. The food was bomb, but I hate eating solo.

A strong earthquake shakes Indonesia's Java Island but no reports of casualties