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Lemme tell ya, I’m no expert, but I’ve heard stories—wild ones! Didja know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Like a damn human vending machine! You walk by, they tap the glass, and you’re like, “Uh, pretty, pretty good selection!” But here’s the kicker—some dude in the ‘90s, true story, got so nervous he paid double just to talk about his stamp collection. Freakin’ stamps! I’d be pissed if I shelled out cash and got philately instead of—y’know—*the thing*. Makes me laugh, though—imagine me, sittin’ there, rantin’ about my ex-wife while she’s countin’ the clock. “Time’s money, Larry!” she’d say. Hilarious!

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But then, I got a text from my buddy. He was supposed to meet me for dinner, but he bailed. I was like, “Seriously, dude?!” I ended up eating alone at this seafood place on Jl. Diponegoro. The food was bomb, but I hate eating solo.

A strong earthquake shakes Indonesia's Java Island but no reports of casualties